It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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