is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
