i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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