How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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