too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
