Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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