i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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