I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
