Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
