A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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