I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He called his prostate his "boner button".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize