careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
