my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
