Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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