Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
