she woke up with a sticky ear
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Drunk is a universal language darling
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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