I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
