Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want her autograph on my taint
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
