Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
