I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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