Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
