I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize