you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
