Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
