She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
