Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
