he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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