I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
