Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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