I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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