I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
