The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
