Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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