And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize