There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
