you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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