He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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