well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
