I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
