I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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