guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had to cum in my sink.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
