As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
false alarm, still single
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