Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
