When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
