i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
