went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
