The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
