how can u be prego again
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
