My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
