if you like me you must not know who I am
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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