Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Someone came in the potted fern
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
