32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
