Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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