How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Need sex. Gaining weight.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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