I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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