I feel like I'm in dance class right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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