Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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