my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
