yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
