Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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