i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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