If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
