The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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